My Thoughts
by Midget Munchkin
Summary: Kari writes in her diary while she and Yolei are still alone. She writes about the way things appear to be through her eyes. Set right after Run Yolei, Run.


My Thoughts  
  
Midget: Hi. This is mostly a diary entry by Kari about all the important things in her life. She'll give her thoughts about the other four digidestin, her relationship with each, the Digimon Emperor, and her special powers that no one knows anything about. There will be some interaction with the other characters, but mainly at the end. This is set while they're in the digiworld, looking for Ken's base. It starts while the three guys are still out looking for the base.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or any of it's characters.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Kari, what are you doing," Yolei asks curiously.  
  
"I'm writing an entry in my journal while the guys are away," I answer mildly. "That way they don't know that I have it."  
  
"And if they don't know that you have it, they won't be trying to look for it," she deduces quickly. She tosses me a grin as she pulls out a small notebook like mine. "Great idea!"  
  
We both giggle as we find our pages. It's nice to know that someone else keeps a diary, too. Maybe later we'll get a chance to compare our thoughts and opinions. It's a great way to become good friends.  
  
*************  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I'm sorry I haven't written in so long. A lot has been going on in my life. TK moved back to town, I've made some new friends, there's a new team of digidestin that I'm a part of, and a whole lot of other stuff. Not the least of which is that I found out something weird about myself, but I'll get into that later. So now all I've got to figure out is where to start.  
  
I guess I'll start with the new team. Davis I've known for several years now. He plays soccer on the same team as my brother. We've also been in a lot of the same classes together. When ever I'd be stuck waiting for Tai he would talk to me. It's been nice having a friend like him around. The only problem is that he and I aren't really that close. I didn't think that before, but now TK's back and I've realized a lot of things I didn't see before.   
  
For example, I used to hang out with Davis a lot. He's the only kid in or near my grade at school I ever really got to know. Sure, I had friends to talk to but I usually hung out with my brother and the others. Most of my closest friends have always been the older kids of our first group and I'm closer to them than I am to Davis. The bond I share with the older kids I always attributed to the fact that they're older and we were in the digiworld together. This is the first year that they aren't in the same school as I am. Thank goodness the other younger digidestin are here. But in all of the time I hung out with Davis there was always somebody else there. We never really had a chance to talk about anything important. There's also the fact that the only time we hung out was in school or at the soccer field. We never went anywhere or did anything else. Unlike with the older kids the relationship between Davis and I didn't really have a chance to grow. I'm kind of working on that. Our both being digidestin is changing things a little. But I don't think it's making much of a difference.  
  
Another example is that there isn't really a whole lot Davis and I can talk about. Since neither of us has done much that the other doesn't already know about, what is there to talk about at all? Now things are pretty much the same. Just about any time something happens to one of us the other is also there. He even came with Tai and I when we were searching our part of the digiworld. We are together a lot, but it just doesn't feel like we're really sharing the experience. I don't know, maybe it's just me.  
  
I like Davis, really I do. He isn't perfect, but nobody is. A lot of people think he's an annoying jerk, but he isn't really that bad. He just doesn't consider things as much or as often as other people. Sometimes he's really slow about figuring something out and yes, there are some things he just doesn't catch at all, but that's okay. Davis is actually a nice guy. At one time I used to think that I wanted to be his girlfriend, but now I'm not so sure he's the guy for me. It's all very confusing.  
  
Yolei is a new member of the team and a new friend to me. She often reminds me of Mimi and Sora combined, but there's something about her that is unique to just her. I like her outlook on life and the way she isn't afraid to apologize if she makes a mistake. Her stubbornness can get us all into trouble, like it did today, but it can also get us out of it. I worry about her, though. Sometimes it seems as if she's having a harder time adjusting to being a digidestin than she wants the rest of us to know. It's like she isn't sure how to act or something. And there are times when she says things that are a little too blunt in my opinion, or just unnecessary, not that there's anything wrong with that. She can be sensitive and considerate when she wants to be. There are times when she makes it obvious that she expects things to go the way she wants them to, but she isn't a brat about it. Maybe I'm just over-analyzing everything. After all, she is a great friend.  
  
Cody is interesting. Since he's the youngest of the group you wouldn't expect him to be the voice of reason or the responsible one, but a lot of the time he is. There are times when he shows that he's still a little kid, though. Sometimes I think that one of the reasons he acts like he does is because we're all older than him so he feels he must act at our level. Of course, sometimes Davis manages to sink to his age level, but for the most part Cody has to act closer to our age, if not older. It isn't fair to him, but there isn't anything we can do about it. We need him to be the way he is. He kind of balances out the rest of us. Maybe one of these days I'll finally take the time to try to get to know him. I have the feeling that there's more to him than meets the eye, but I don't know what it could be. Man, was that introspective. Sometimes I think too much. The only thing left to say is that even though I don't know him all that well I think he's a great friend.  
  
That leads me to the final member of our little group. My long time friend, TK. There's a lot I could say about him, but where do I start? He and I kind of kept in touch through Matt, his older brother and one of my older brother's best friends. I'm happy now that he has moved back to town and is in some of my classes. Having him with me as a second time digidestin is great, also. I'm not alone in my more experienced status. That kind of separates us from the rest of the group. We've been through this type of thing before, but it's new to the others. So a lot of the time we team up and go off so that the others have the chance to deal with whatever we're doing at the time in their own way. TK could have claimed leadership on the grounds that he's more experienced at being a digidestin, but he didn't. Although TK has some good leadership qualities, it's those same qualities that made us both see that he isn't really fit for the job. Besides, Davis is a lot like Tai and we're both kind of used to the idea of someone like Tai being the leader.  
  
That makes it sound like we decided together, doesn't it? Well, we did. After the others got their digieggs and partners we talked about it. We considered the idea of guiding the others because we didn't really want to be left out, even though Gatomon and Patamon couldn't digivolve. Then we found our own digieggs and our digivices became like theirs. We became official members of the team, so we didn't have to be guides anymore. That's when we decided it would be best if we didn't try to guide the others. Last time everyone in the group had to grow up along the way and this time it will probably be the same. We won't be able to face the great evil Wizardmon warned us of if we don't.  
  
Thinking of Wizardmon reminds me of the type of experience TK and I have. We've been through loss of friends, loss of confidence, a group that couldn't stay together, being lost in a dangerous world, nearly dying several times, and facing a destiny that could have gotten our whole group killed. It's not easy watching bad things happen to your brother and not being able to do anything about it. Or watching it happen to your new friends, either. During all of that we formed a bond that helped us through it. I think that's why we're so close. It's one of the things that helped me realize I'm not as close to Davis as I once thought. He knew from last time that there's something special about me. TK and I have shared and are still sharing a lot. We're really good friends.  
  
That brings up another topic to think about. My relationship with TK. I already said we're really good friends and we are. When he first moved back it was like we had never really been apart. It wasn't until TK actually told me that he cared too much about me to let anything happen to me that I even started to consider him as anything more than a friend. Oh, sure I flirted with him and teased him a little, but I wasn't really serious. At the time I was still trying to figure out what kind of relationship I wanted with Davis. I'm still trying to figure out that one. But then TK said that to me and threw my thoughts out of wack. For a while afterwards we were getting pretty close, but I got a little scared. With so much going on I don't think I need to deal with that kind of thing right now. Especially since I don't know what kind of relationship I want with him, either. The other night I told him that right now I need a good friend more than I need a boyfriend. He just smiled and agreed to that. I'm glad he is such a great friend.  
  
So right now I'm trying not to consider any relationship beyond the just friends stage. I'll just flirt with them every now and then. It helps to take my mind off of things and give me a breather. Kind of like Yolei's obsession with cute guys does for her. Or the way Cody tries so hard to think of and consider everything. Sometimes he gets left out because of it. Let's not forget about TK's recent pre-occupation with finding and defeating Ken. He has to have a clear goal in mind to help him keep everything straight. And maybe that's the reason behind Davis' focus on impressing me? In a way it let's him put aside his responsibility as the leader occassionally. Each of us has our own way of coping with everything we're going through, I guess. We each find our own way of distracting our minds so that we don't go crazy or anything. After all, we are all still young and this is a lot for young people to have to deal with.   
  
To lighten things up a bit in the boyfriend area I've considered trying to distance myself from the guys, but right now we're trying to find the Digimon Emperor's hideout so it would kind of be pointless. I think I'll hang around Yolei for the most part until I feel ready to deal with that kind of stuff. Her and the older kids, when they're around. It kind of feels weird traveling the digiworld without them. Sometimes I wish they could come with us more often. But I guess that's just a longing I'll have to live with. Besides, if it weren't for them we wouldn't be here right now.  
  
Time to go on to another topic. The other one makes me kind of sad. Anyways, I guess I'll talk about the Digimon Emperor. His real name is Ken Ichijouji. He is a star soccer player, a genius, and kind of cute. I still can't believe someone with such a gentle smile could be so cruel. I wonder what made him turn evil? Wizardmon said we must return the one wrapped in darkness. I wonder if he meant Ken? That would mean that he is the bearer of kindness, like Wizardmon said. But if he is, how could he be so cruel?  
  
Wizardmon also mentioned something about kindness unlocking the golden radiance. No one has any idea what that is supposed to mean. Why is it every time we get help from someone or something, they end up giving us more riddles to think of instead of answering the ones we already face?  
  
All of this is enough to give me a headache. And as if that weren't enough, we've recently found out that there's something special about me. Excuse me for not sounding grateful, but why me? Why do I have to be the one? No one even knows what this special thing is. They just know that I have it. The weird digimon-like things said I had great power, but what kind of power? Is there a purpose for it? What is the thing that is after me? Oh, I wish someone had some answers for me. It would really make my life a lot less stressful.  
  
Well, I think that's about everything. I'm glad I remembered to bring you along. Just putting everything down on paper has helped me sort out my thoughts somewhat. I think I hear the guys coming closer. I'd better put this away quickly or they might want to know what's in it. So I'll write again later. Bye.  
  
**************  
  
I close my diary and place it at the bottom of my bag. Then I settle my clothes and zip it up. I'd barely set it back down beside me when the guys suddenly appeared.  
  
"Hey guys you should have seen what we saw," Yolei announces importantly. It looks like she got hers put away before they appeared, too. Good. The last thing we need are curios guys trying to spy on our private thoughts.  
  
"What'd you see," Davis asks immediately, curious. His expression had been a little disappointed, but now he perked up.  
  
"The Digimon Emperor's palace," she tells him proudly. There's a hint of superiority in her tone. "I was right, you know."  
  
"You meant it is floating in the sky," TK asks incredulously, blinking. I can't really blame him. I felt the same way when I saw it.  
  
Yolei beams as she nods her head. All three of them are silent for a moment. I turn away slightly to hide my smile. They're so cute when they've been shocked speechless.  
  
"It was really cool looking," Gatomon adds teasingly. You can tell she has every intention of tormenting the guys.  
  
"What did it look like," Patamon questions eagerly.  
  
"Yeah, tell us," Veemon says curiously. They both look like they're ready for a fight.  
  
"Well, we didn't get a real good look at it," I tell them regretfully, playing it up a bit. It's always fun to tease them about things they missed.  
  
"So tell us what it looked like to you from where you were," Armadilamon replies calmly. He's so easy-going that I sometimes wonder if anything can annoy him.  
  
"It looked like a giant floating rock," Hawkmon announces stiffly. I think he's a bit annoyed that no one asked how he's doing.  
  
"There's got to be more to it than that," Patamon says, blinking. He looks a bit confused.  
  
"How are we going to get to it," Cody asks softly. He frowns slightly, obviously trying to figure out the answer.  
  
"Halsemon can fly us there," Yolei replies confidently. There's a relieved look in her eye as she looks over at her digimon partner.  
  
"And so can Pegasusmon and Nefertimon," I add cheerfully. Making plans as a group sure beats arguing about it.  
  
"Cody and Armadilamon can ride with Halsemon and me," Yolei informs us mildly. She looks eager to get to work.  
  
"I think it might be better if we don't over-load Halsemon," Cody tells her thoughtfully. He looks over at the digimon in concern.  
  
"Yeah, we wouldn't want him to get hurt or tire out too easily," TK adds, glancing at Hawkmon. "He's probably still recovering from that poison."  
  
"I'll be fine," Hawkmon replies calmly. The slight hint of a smile on his face tells me that he's happy someone finally mentioned it.  
  
"I can jump far enough to get Davis there," Veemon says happily.  
  
Davis mumbles something softly, but I can't quite catch what he said. I'm about to ask him what it was when suddenly there is the loud rumble. All the digimon start blushing.  
  
"Um, could we get something to eat now," Armadilamon asks hopefully.  
  
We all look at each other for a moment, not quite sure how to react. First come smiles, then chuckles, and then finally laughter. What a day! I guess we need to get ready for tomorrow anyways. It's kind of nice being here together. At least we all know that there are four others going through all of this with us. It makes things seem a whole lot easier to deal with.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Well, there you have it. I hope nobody gets mad for my not making it Takari. I was trying to base it off of Kari's reactions and in the last few episodes it seemed to me that she was flirting with both. At the same time she kind of seemed to be distracted and a little distant. She sure seemed to be a more quiet and thoughtful than she usually is. This is only my opinion, though, so I could be wrong. Let me know what you think.  
  



End file.
